haha tajukkk.

right after ayra was discharged from the hospital, i got sick. i had severe diarrhea and nonstop cough for almost a week  (n still coughing and nite now . ish ish) i lose my body water tremendously , i got dehydrated. my bm was almost dried, everytime i fed her, it took n hour n half to satisfy her hunger. boy i was very weak. by the time i got back to work, my pumping output decreased greatly, like i can only get 1 bottle n half  for the whole day padahal ayra needs 4 bottle at the nursery!. i no longer have any frozen stocks as they had been all used up way b4 she was sick, and i didnt have the time (nor extra output) to stack up more stocks.

I tried to pump more but nothing much left, even when i woke up in the middle of the night my b00biess are still flat as ayra was latching all night long .Finally i decide  that was it.  i had to give in. Whether i like it or not i have to buy FM, if not Ayra will starve not having enuff milk on the next day at the nursery. We went straight away to Manjaku at BBB n bought the smallest tin that we can get -just not to get ahead of ourselves yet . i convinced myself over n over that this is temporary but if i still cant put up with the demand, we have to be mentally prepared to give her FM for the 1st time.

but the funny thing was when we were deciding for which formula to buy, we were completely clueless, just like when papa had to buy disposable diapers for our Perth trip last year. we were using CD all the way i dont event know how to measure her bum size/ which is better brand n whatnot LOL.  i bought 1 small tin n we went straight home. i tried to prepare a bottle for her, lawak la pulak seing myself terkemut kemut reading the how-to instructions. So this is how it feels like preparing fm for your baby. its a totally new experience for me . when i gave Ayra the bottle, she drank it straightaway, poor her, she must be really hungry at that time. i continued doing my work in the kitchen . But then when i looked at her again ,i suddenly burst into tears. i felt like a bad mom, my baby is drinking milk that is not coming from me. it was really a heartwrenching moment, i cried n i cried while washing the dishes untill hubs came n soothed me. i was really sad, but i convinced myself every other mom must have been in my shoes, one day  i will no longer have enuff milk to feed her, sooner or later i will have to wean her. n thats a fact that i have to accept whether i like or not.

i packed some of the powder for the nursery (im not giving them the full tin coz i dont want them to opt for FM kalau malas nak reheat my milk , manatau kan) the next day n i felt much better myself coz i wasnt stressed out thinking ayra not having enough milk for the day. and surprisingly my bm supply increased slowly since that day n now i can pump enough for one day supply  again. i will try to increase my milk but if there are times that i cant pump enuff,  i will not stress out anymore . Im glad that i get to come to this phase, experience new things and i thank God for that chance.

p/s btw nasib baikkk dia nak minum , kalau tak jenuh nak carik susu lain pulak LOL.

disclaimer- its not like i hate / underestimating formula or what, but pls understand that im a fully breastfeeding mom, so its kinda tough for me to switch from breastmilk to fm okay. i need some time . pls respect this. n pls dont feel bad or anything for not breastfeeding ur baby. alhamdulillah this is rezeki ayra, to be fully breastfed for a year.

eh btw the title is actually referring to me nowadays not having the time to pump at work, so what i do is i pump in the car while driving . -pump time jalan sesak with  many cars kat federal, hujan summore, boleh change bottle and transfer susu to one bottle put cap, keep in cooler bag everything while driving a manual car. BOLEH CELEN??!! ekekekekeke im impressed myself.-and of course with the help of medela freestyle. kikiki

rambut depan ayra sangat panjang lately so i cant help it to trim her fringe a bit. tapi senget jadinye! ekeke lawak la pulak bila tgk balik.

btw we got her a toy shopping trolley and masak-masak set for her bday and she really2 really loves it! when i ask her  to go to bed she just waved byebye to me sambil goreng2 dlm that tiny frying pan. sabojelah!will post the pic later!

cerita ringkas untuk minggu lepas. (btw weekend tu ada bachelorette party for noa. mmg rawkkss!!)

monday ayra got high fever (yg berlanjutan dah couple weeks, makan ubat tak jalan) pegi doc kena admit

so berkampung la kitorang hospital for 4 days. 3 hari EL. the fourth day pegi office, sikit lagi nak passed out, sudahh jankit pulak . last2 dapat mc . sia2 sahaja trip to office meredah jam bagai. heh

ayras bday fall on the third day we were in the hospital, so papa bought a cake from secret recipe nearby,  a party hat and a balloon to celebrate just the three of us. cerita kitorang masuk spital ni mmg we keep to ourselves sahaja, family suma tak tau. tak mau mengundang pelbagai soalan dari pihak2 berkenaan punya pasal hehe, n dont want to worry them either.eh btw  yesterday we are happily discharged. (tak sihat tapi happy ayra sihat hehe)

were now bermastautin in putrajaya for a while until i gain my strength back to go home n mengemas rumah yg macam tongkang pecah itu.

anyways ada few Qs or statements that  i wont give a damn unless well ,ure my best friend heheh.

1. apsal ayra ni selalu sakit eh?

2. baby breast feeding pun selalu sakit2 ek?

3. nama tak sesuai kot

4. ish kurusnye ayra sekaranng!! apsal?

opss enuff of negativity, nanti dah balik rumah kita upload gambar ‘celebration’ kita tu ye Ayra!!

OMG ayra is turning 1 this WEEK, and i dont even have a plan. ergh

but i definitely want to celebrate it just the three of us on taht day. like goin out having a nice family dinner somewhere sounds nice dont u think.? hmmm wonder where? i wanna bake a cake, but that would have to wait till weekend. (note to self -gotta loan the kenwood from mom 1st tho)

owhhh my baby is turning into a toddler soon! its sooo sad to think of it u know, n somehow depressing. m gonna miss her baby smell n get  a sweaty smell instead. LOL , shes gonna be able to fully walk on her own soon n wouldnt want me to carry her anymore . uuuuuuuu seriously this is a big deal for me. But its indeed exciting thinkin that she will be able to talk and interact more with me in the future  rather than  just calling me nennen instead of mommy like she does nowadays tho.hahah

owhh Ayra, now matter how big u get and how old u grow, im still gonna baby u till u get married! i love you hon, very very muchh!  *happy tears*

btw any ideas on what gift shoud we I get her (papa carik sendiri, takleh kongsi LOL) for her very 1st bday.?

btw this is some of ideas i got from fb

plush toys – she isnt that interested in teddies, or any soft toys that we have in the house nor whateever she sees in the shop. so this will be a waste

jewelery like bracelet or anklet – a very good idea but unfortunately, since she goes to nursery this is a prohibited item,  when else i can get her to wear then? special occasions? im afraid that ill lose it accidentally if too many pakai-bukak-pakai done if u know what i mean.

e-hon (picture book) – this is good but i need something more special!

babyart set -to print her foot mark kinda thing. -looks interesting but its a one time thing, and  i prefer to buy something that she can use.

owh im totally lost. any help?

OR MAYBE WE CAN PLAN A VACAY EY PAPA? hehe

project 11

dress for baby tasneem.

baby tasneem turned 2 couple weeks back, n nannoor held a party n invited us. so i decided to sew her DD a little flowery n dotty red dress a bday gift, it only take me one night to cut n sew everything up, but i actually messed up the neck part which i had wrongly cut but somehow i managed to fix it coz i was too sleepy to cut the part all over again.

i made a lill ruffle at the shoulder , and add some lace so it can be tied at the back. i bought the lace at a 100yen shop in japan b4 i got back without knowing what to do with it  , but im glad that the finally find its purpose .

i always buy things i dont have any plan  to use but in the end i use it anyway, so thats why  i think anything about sewing is a worth investment, seriously hehe.i guess hubs understand this very much.

btw i use the leftover fabric to make the flower applique which i love soo soo much about this dress. plannig to to make one for ayra but preferably to be worn once she can walk. long dress and a  crawling  baby just dont do well together if u know what i mean.

n of course we couldnt resist to ‘testdrive’ with our very own lil model , hehe

hope u like it nannoor!

hulllooo, feels like ages since i last wrote my post,and within 20days time, ayra is gonna be 1! o.m.g how fast time flies. ish ish, ive been caught up with my new job, learn ALOT of new things, adjusting to a new FLEXIBLE working environment , not to forget daily traffic jams , phew by the time im home the only thing that i want to do is snuggle with my baby n hubs doin nothing else.

change is good, i can say its great but a bit tiring. i have a lot of stuff to study, review even recall hehe i have left technical related things for almost 2 years , its gonna be tough to get back on track!

okay ill put this post in points so that its easier for me to write n for u to read. (chehh macam org nak baca sangat haha )

new job

• traffic is bad, i mean real bad. but since our in n out time is pretty much flexible ,couldnt care less with the jam. haha . but i prefer to wake up early to arrive early so i can go back early too! bes bes. but i wonder if the workload increases, i might have to work longer who knows. but tu pk kemudiannnn
• we can lunch out during noon too but im too lazy to go out so i just eat in. food not that bad either. they have various stalls like fruit stall, juice stall, mamak stall, western stall n so on. just pick what u wanna eat. no need to go out la camtu kan, perabih minyak je. (bawak bekal lagi bagus sebenarnya hehehehe)
• they have mothers room! complete with a fridge summore and i can go anytime i want coz the key is to manage my own time. as long as u do ur work, pilahh mengepam sejam sekalipunn. kehkeh (15 minutes is enuff for me tho)
• i can wear aaaaanything that i want as long as i wear shoes! (coz we also work in chemical lab so that explains it)hehehe . punyala shopping working attire last2 pakai jeans n sweater just like old times! hahaha
• basicly my work place is a lab, just like my old lab during my final years in japan! soo cool . the lab is restricted to authorized person only so its double cool like we have to scan everytime upon entering. hehe (ok abaikan excited mommy neh)
• they have a database full of technical related info, so i can learn as much as i can! like durin U times, where we can open all the journals- something like that. FSL is totally a good place to learn new things.
• they have a software just like YM where we can chat with anyone in the company with user id- but since i hardly anyone yet,so havent fully utilizing that yet. maybe i can send some message to my mentor one day. kehkeh.
• of all 20plus eng in the team, sadly there are only two malays, one guy and another one is me. and im the only girl whos already married! (and have a baby of course!) everyone was so shocked when they hear that i have a nearly 1 year old baby! haha i get that a lot.
• all in all , i really2 love this new working environment and really hope i can gain a lot of experience here . i dunno, but the best is may yet to come , who knows.

Ayra

• ayra n i were down with diarrhea just before my 1st day at the new place. she lost appetite coz she threw up everything she ate, lost a lot of weight after few days. poor my baby not chubby anymore. shes  all better now but demam2 sket, i really hope she gets well soon, im going to stuff you with good nutritious food so that we can get all your baby fat BACK! hehe
• i still have 0 plan for her upcoming bday. we’re not planning on anything big but since it  falls on weekday so  im sure its just gonna be three of us 1st, then with my family n inlaws on the weekend.
• ayra now can say MOMMA! but she was just repeating words that i say, so i dont think shell be calling me  other that AYYY for the time being yet LOL.
• can marah2 olredi . aaappp!!       
  garang like mommy ekekeke

hubs

• is being very helpful during morning coz i have to leave early to work so basicly he has to gather everything up and send our baby to the nursery everyday. thank you baby, n u know how much i love you . mmwahhhss
• was down with conjuctivitis exactly one week b4 my 1st day , so eventho i wasn working on that week we had to cancel all our dates and cinema plans due to him need to be qurantined all week. so there goes my avatar n sherlock holmes plan down the drain AGAIN. now well just have to wait for the dvd jelah SOB SOB.

ok thats basicly it, so i guess youll have to wait at least one week for another post .hehe kalau rajin on weekdays to adalah. till then, have a lovely weekend n take care everyone!

lil cheeky Ayra has turn 11!

we discover soo many things about her nowadays sometimes im sad thinkin that shes growing too fast n soon to be a TODDLER! owh now im missing the baby smell n high pitch baby cry of hers (nope, not a hint of adek yet lol

okay lets recap

• She got her first two lower teeth  already! she now hates any soupy or finely pureed food. logicla kan, dah ada gigi, tak main la lembek2 nih! hehe
• now understands few words like ARMS UP!- shell raise her arms up(learned frm ybcr),CLAP ,SAYANG or KISS and FLYING KISS. n of course twinkle2 is her all time fav since her 10th month. kekeke
• loves if you happy n you know it song- soo cutee when she tries to follow me @ stomp your feet line. stomp! stomp!
• can clearly say word papa but mostly call people EYY! hahaha panggil sometimes she says EHHHHH!macam org tua!
• now official the big mess maker in the house. abis baju, cds, books were taken out of their places. ayoyoyoyoyo her fav activity is DEfolding the clothes. shabaass bettey. i can no longer leave foldede clothes in front of her. cepat2 simpan!
• eats almost everything , not a fussy eater (yet) . but i dont know if she has any favourite food or not. but i think she prefers pasta n potato than rice for carb (anak omputih mana nih? hihi)
• loves men over women. OMG pantai nampai lelaki hensem. should i be worry olredi or not hahaha. siap teleng2 kepala like menggoda ok.
• pandai melentok manja to anybody holding her like this
  
  . ewahh ewaahhh
• love love love playing with water, nangis when we took her out of the pool everytime pegi swimming. cannot sit still during bath , always trying to stand n splash everytime!

• kandou moments 1 – i like to blow her tummy after bath making fart like sound n she loves it soo much. one day when i was lying down on bed n my shirt was up showing a part of my  belly, she came to me n blows it making the same sound! AWWWWWW mata bergenang! now we like to expose our tummies just to lure her to come to us. hahahah
• BIG kando moments 2- she TOOK HER 1ST STEPS right before new year! it was around 11, wee were at my bestie amal place , having surprise bbq for her birthday, n granma sabars lawn has very fine carpet grass which ayra was a bit afraid to stand coz she never experienced standing on the grass before, but few minutes later dlm takut2 tu she took her first 3 steps in front of her fvourite aunties- aunty amal, aunty farah n aunty iman! not to forget granma sabar! BIG CLAPP!! (okayla uncle hakim n uncle khairi masuk skali hehe)

heres video i took the very next day @home. pls excuse the low quality picture taken using my hp.


well thats about it for now, will add more later.

aaanyway have a good spankin new year everyone! *HUGS*!

belum sempat habis tutup buku 2009 , Allah bagi ujian ..dan menginsafkan.  ACCIDENT. yes , i was involved in an accident.

seriously bukan accident picisan, for the 1st time in my life somebody nearly die bcoz of me. Nauzubillah.

nak cerita panjang, macam malas.

but the accident happened last week, on my way to work early morning. i was already late, it was so fast , i barely know what exactly happened.  for all i know, a motorcyclist bumped into my right door (back ) n i can see him melambung thru my side mirror,diulangi melambung into the air n boom fall flat on his head (face) , MAN that was indeed a terrifying scene ive ever seen with my own eyes.

i stopped aside , n  the kid is still lying in the MIDDLE of the road. NOT MOVING. UNCONSCIOUS. i was scared to death thinking that i might ve killed someone. PUCAT lesi. PANIC all over. few motorcyclist stopped by to see what happened.  when i went out from my car, i was confused coz i didnt see any scratch on big ben  – actually ada , minor but i was too panic .

the boy was still lying on the road. luckily there was a truck that stopped right in front of him to prevent him from being hit by other cars. imagine jalan puchong- kajang yg sesak tu. i was more than lucky that he wasnt hit by other cars when he fells. the only no that i know was 999, when the operator asked me where did the acc happened i was speechless, i cant even tell where exactly i am!

” bertenang cik, saya tak boleh bantu kalau cik tak bagitau lokasi sebenar kemalangan!” she said.

then one pakcik came to me, saying that its okay, he has already called ambulans to pick the kid up.

few minutes later, the kid suddenly got up, i was relieved MasyaAllah , tuhan sahaja yg tau. HES NOT DEAD! blood was all over his face. quite severe injuries on his forehead. then the ambulance came n rushed him to hosp serdang.

……

that kid

few stitched on forehead, alhamdulillah no permanent injuries. tapi sayang half upper teeth falled out from the fall impact.

me

i was okay n am okay. only still trauma when driving

the bike n big ben

both okay, nothing  major . my side skirt terkeluar sket. n kemek near handles. BIG NOTHING compare to his injuries.

we both are done with the police report. eventhough im not sure if it was my fault or not, i probably will be charged rm300 for kecuaian memandu , but that was more than enough.

actually there was another honda said by the saksi menghimpit the bike maybe causing the accident, but i didnt managed to memorize his plate number, n tak mau la panjang cerita nak siasat , plus i was too panic i forgot to ask for the saksi no. so  end of story. nothing can be done. at least i can rest assured knowing that the boy is ok now.

were off to IPD sepang tonite if time permits.

important notes

• if you have any emergency like accident, robbery or anything call this number 0320529999 instead of 999 . cepat sket feedbacknye datte.
• always ask for another eye witness phone number. it really helps.

photo of the day

this photo really reminds me of mirumo-chan , an tiny angel who lives in a cup! kawaikunaii??

img source

seminggu lepas milk supply merudum yang amat, selalu 10minutes=5oz becomes 30z , makin sikit makin sikit =stress

padahal tak diet pun , makan lagila tak ingat2
berat pulak naik few hundred grams = another stress

mula terdetik – ish kalau bagi formula kan senang, tak payah aku nak stress
tak payah nak jaga makan
boleh diet gila babi
tak payah bangun pagi pump
tak payah burn rehat kat office untuk pump
tak payah bawak beg gabak2 pegi office.

satu malam stress rasa nak give up

tiba2 harini supply banyak back to normal (baru niat nak makan lobak putih, tak buat pun lagi)

ALLAH maha mengetahui
apa yg terbaik untuk hamba-nya
Nampaknya Dia tak bagi aku give-up awal2 Muharram lagi.

Syukur.Alhamdulillah.

btw , Selamat tahun baru kawan2.